I am anticipating some challenging emotions to arise as I travel the path of foster parenting. And I think they will be amplified because of my journey in infertility and miscarriage.
I want to be a mom so badly. And I have so much love to give to children. Which is one of the reasons we decided to become foster parents. At the same time, foster parenting a child is not the same as parenting a biological child.
It is likely – guaranteed even – that we will care for a child who will go back to his/her first parents. That loss, alone, is terrifying to me. Even just contemplating it, I remember some of my feelings with my miscarriage. I was so excited to finally be pregnant and the hopes and dreams and thoughts of the future were so beautiful. And in an instant they were torn from me with the news that I was miscarrying. I imagine that those feelings about the future will arise when I am caring for a child in foster care. And when that child goes back to his/her parents, that loss will come as well.
But infertility has taught me beautiful lessons of resilience and trust in God. It has taught me that hard, unimaginable things can happen and I can make it through. I can do hard things and I can be happy. These lessons that I’ve learned from infertility have been preparing me for the journey into foster parenting.
I know this will be harder than anything I’ve experienced and I know that I can do it.
A Miracle for the McCalls 